HaleLouStew

bonerparty:

syntheticpubes:

(via typefiend)

WOMEN OF AMERICA. what the fuck. whats with the fucking hoodie-and-jeans ensemble? step it up a notch. i know theres “bros with caps” out there, but trust us, you make the effort and we will too. look at the dude on the left. he will TOTALLY kill the spider in your bathtub. he will TOTALLY listen to how your day was.

i know your current dude “Knows A Dude Who Works At Cinespace” and/or “Lives In A Loft” or “Graduated From College” but come the fuck on, people. women: we will totally make an effort if you do. its a case of one side being too scared that the other one wont make a move. i propose this: we will wear PTF’s (Pants That Fit). you in return will wear SRSYMLUSODIWANE’s (Super Rad Shoes You May Let Us Sniff One Day If We Are Nice Enough). it can build from there.

in 20 years i hope to accomplish what we have here in this picture: dapper chaps and well dressed ladyfriends taking a stroll and having a gay old time, Flintstones style, all over these United States Of America. a new 50’s. think about it. black president and everything. it will be like Back To The Future 2 except everyone will be getting laid more because Juicy Couture went out of business and no woman in their right mind will wear leggings as pants (what is this? Logans Fucking Run?) or the dreaded “flip flops and sassy sweatpants” im-going-to-the-store bullshit that we all see so much.

women, you must make the first move. why? because we are all scared little boys and need guidance towards the greatness that is Dressing Well. lets get Oprah on this shit. does anyone who reads this know Oprah? can we get Oprah to say something about this Declaration Of Bonerpendance? please? we’ll put her on the site. i swear to God, Jesus, and Michael Jackson. lets make it happen. forward thinking, readers. something to ponder.

I used to be the hoodie and jeans girl but last 2 summers ago I made a very conscience effort that during the warms moths of the year I will be the hot girl in the summer dress girl. It is working like a charm, it has even caught on, not like wildfire but we are almost there. So throw your sick ass hat in the trash and lets show these velour sweatsuit wearing idiots what’s up!!!

meredithhchrist:

illinoisairship:

I spent the better part of my childhood scaring the shit out of myself. The amount of times I called my parents during sleepovers to pick me up was ridiculous. For the life of me, I don’t know why I was so addicted to it, but I definitely made it my mission to have nightmares as a child. Remember that episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark?where the kid gets the xray glasses that can see those black-clad figures standing motionless in the room? I do. That shit changed me.

All of that, if you think about it, should have prepared me for the actual scary realities of living in the world as an adult. I should be able to say “Terrorists? Who gives a shit. Lemme tell you about this girl who always wore a green ribbon around her neck.”

I have a very vivid memory of breaking into our elementary campus at dusk and reading these stories outloud to eachother.  Geeky and Freaky all at once.

I hated scary stuff with the exception of watching Are You Afraid of the Dark every week. The episode you speak of also changed my life. That was, for sure, the most disturbing thing EVER!! I have asked people if the remember that one and how scary it was and I get mocked still to this day. I am glad someone else out there thought it was terrifying!!

photoholic:

kari-shma:

… (via Ekler)

CUBBIE HUGGIE!!! Gimme a bear hug!!

crostic:

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yay yippity yay

hrrrthrrr:

Amazing submission to the Sony World Photography Awards from Adam Panczuk!

See more entries at www.worldphotographyawards.org. 

This is what it was like when I played water polo for SIU’s club team that consisted of all men and me. Except for the obvious lack of a female getting fingered under the water, and boobs grabbed above the water. hmm…?

meredithhchrist:

tanya77:

innonate:

john:

nickmcglynn:

Contrail - Biking Community Tool

The concept was created by Studio Gelardi, and it consists of a small apparatus that applies a thin layer of colored chalk to a bike’s tire. As you ride, the chalk is transferred to the road, leaving a colorful trail behind you. Over time these trails on the road get more pronounced, which not only encourages other bikers to take the same route, but it also lets drivers know what roads are frequented with bike traffic, hopefully making them a bit more cautious.

 Awesome. 

A couple of days ago I found myself in a conversation with a customer about my paintings and about how I would like to start painting on old wood, it being a recession and all. He promtly pointed out to me that he was in fact old, and that if I unzipped his pants he was sure I could make it a masterpiece.

???????

That is what happens when you leave the rat race and go back to working in the RESTAURANT BIZZZ!

Kill me.

finallyseeing:

icanread:

(via zarlwilliam)

you better be right Twain!

This painting is entitled Chicago is Burning, because I am about to burn this fucking city to the ground….again.